Parker Palmer and Henri Nouwen are purveyors of truth: check out this quote from a speech Nouwen made to members of Fadica in 1994, the speech is called "Discovering Our Gift Through Service to Others":
"Parker Palmer, a spiritual writer of the Quaker tradition, says community is the place where the person you least want to live with always lives. So community is not like a place where you love each other sort of freely and warmly and affectionately. Community is in fact the place where you are purified, where your love is tested, where your childhood of God is constantly put through the mill of human relationships. That is what community is. Community is a place where Judas always is and sometimes it is just you."
I came across this quote from an excellent Advent devotional book called "Advent and Christmas Wisdom from Henri J.M. Nouwen" published by Redemptorist Pastoral Publications.